whocooksforyou

I am a householder, I live with my young child and his mother. I work as much as I can because we don’t have much money and are in debt. I suffer from many anxieties and fears. I worry about what people think of me. I have problems of executive function and I self sabotage my actions a lot. I was raised in a very restrictive Christian sect and felt very isolated as a child. I sometimes have savior/martyr delusions. I think if I didn’t have the responsibilities of workings and being a good father I would become a monk immediately. I think maybe those thoughts are only wanting an escape from my life. I find it easy to be open to strangers. I find it easy to give up my belongings to those who need them. Hate does not arise in me easily. I believe the 4 noble truths without doubt. I want relief from dukkha. I want to accept satisfaction.