yesu upasaka

Hi all, my name is Jesús, I didnt make it up, is my real name.
Im from Spain, born in 79. I was educated in a catholic environment, studing since very young age in a Catholic school, with catholic religion as a subject but at a very young age, around 8 years old I started to dislike and dobut all of that, getting myself in trouble with classmates and priests in the school. After some time, I got expelled from the school and went to a secular school. Got interested in philosophy that would be against religion like Nietzsche and join movements based on whatever was anti-christian, like Black Metal communities and so on. With time and age, I got very disatisfied with my jobs, relationships and the way I was living and traveled to Thailand where I found the Dhamma. Since then I started to study and do hard core retreting with Goenka tradition first, then with “pragmatic Dharma” movement, struggled with the practice and got obsessed with the stages of insight and the attainments, until finally I found a Dhammarato video in Guru Viking. The simplicity and beauty of Dhammarato teachings felt like a breath of fresh air and a relief of all the concepts and maps that I was attached to. Since then I got interested in Thai Forest tradition, started visiting monasteries and hang out with the monks.
At the moment Im finishing a Gestalt psychotherapy training and planning a trip to Thailand to ordain there.