Yesu Upasaka (Jesus)

Tales from the Crypt
One day, meanwhile walking in the wat’s forest, I I ended up finding a broken-down abandoned few hundred years old village nearby, with houses falling apart. The nature had retaken the place as trees where breaking through the old stone floor. As I kept going, I stumbled upon a graveyard that looked forgotten, with ancient tombstones. Some of them open, maybe thefts looking for jewels, some of them because time, and most of them still with their owners inside, forgotten by their loved ones.
While I was checking out the old building, I found a small hole in the wall, like 50cm tall. Curiosity drove me inside, started crawling on the floor, avoiding sticky mold, roots, spiders and strange long legged insects. The place was dug on soft ground, about 15 metres deep in the wall. I went through it and discovered a room full of skeletons, placed in holes in the wall, and in the middle, a wooden meditation bench and old wet Bhikkhu colour blanket. Some candles were available. It was spooky, but I saw a great opportunity for maranasati meditation and to fear old fears from childhood, about death, ghosts, demons and stuff, I decided to sit and meditate among the bones
In the dim light, an old candle started making weird loud sounds, I suppose because humidity. Even though my mind knew there was no real danger, I felt scared, a sensation of tightness in the chest and vision getting blurred. Because caution, I put of the candles and I left the place, but that fear stayed with me. During the night, in my kuti, the chest pain, the visions, fantasies, feeling presences near me haunted me for 3 nights, fear of ghosts, death, fear of going crazy, fear of my mind going against me. I even though of calling Dhammarato or talking to the Bhikkhus but the tricky mind was shy and embarrassed.. I went back three more times to that place, trying to face it. 2nd time I walked around the place but even the thought of entering the crypt was making me run away. Second time I entered, with decision and the help of the advice of the noble friends and Anapana Sati. The spine shivers were hard and some kind of neck throat blockage was releasing coughing, cramps, weird phenomena. The last time, I went full pitch black night and I invited a friend, a lay person who is living there for few years already. When I asked him if he wanted to come and spend the night with the dead, he said “you are the friend I was waiting for”. He led the way without a help of a torch, the half moon was enough to see. Meanwhile we walked, he chanted in pali with his old broken voice. I felt I was living a kind of lucid dream. It was fascinating
We visited caves, cliffs, paths, strange trees and finally we got in the secret crypt. We sat down there quietly, so quiet that the inner sound of my own ears was so loud. There in the middle of the night. Surprisingly, it was peaceful. Since that night, I feel different, but in a good way. The scary feelings are gone, and I’ve found a sense of calm. The crypt’s story became my own tale of overcoming old fears and discovering peace in unexpected places.
Thank you, J

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